The Secret Life of Bees..Definite Must See

I went to a sneak preview of this film with one of my girls last week and I must say it is one of the best films I've seen in a long time. This movie more than deserves all the Oscar buzz its been getting. The characters in the movie all display a sense of warmth dignity and resilience we can all aspire to have as we move through this life. You'd be crazy not to rally all the divas in your circle and hot foot it to the nearest theater this weekend. Whether youre black white latina...whatever..this is a film that will touch you and uplift you in a way few films do these days. You'll love it...take the Diva's word for it...and some Kleenex. Youre gonna need them :o)





The Diva

New Beyonce....too cute!!

If you havent checked out the new Beyonce cut...you definitely need to. "Put a Ring On It" is my new theme song as it sums up the four words I need to be screaming from every rooftop these days...I've been combing exes outta my hair the last few days and this song couldnt be any more appropriate. The video is simple and very chic...sort of a mix of Bob Fosse meets caberet ...and those eight counts are vicious honey!!

Have a seat @ the video bar and check it out...Its the top pick for this week...

Here's to getting some bling...and a commitment to boot :o)

The Diva

Thoughts on Love......

Ok so Im sitting here listening to Dwele and realizing that its been awhile since the last time I was in love...Come to think of it, the last time I thought I was, I was a completely different woman from the one I am today. I was younger...more naive...more forgiving...But in time I found that age, wisdom and forgiveness are all a part of falling in and out of love. Sometimes theyre the difference between wedded bliss and being unhappily ever after...or the thin line that lies between playing your part and playing the fool. I have had both good and bad loves in my life. From all of them I learned a little more about who I am and what I want and need from a man.

I learned that I dont have to settle...that sex and love dont always go hand in hand..that skeletons dont always remain in closet...that everyone has 'issues' no matter how well-camouflaged they are....

But most importantly I've learned that love, while elusive..is a beautiful thing if youre fortunate to have it...I watched a movie once and one of the actors summed it all up with the following quote from La Rochefaucold: "True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does."


Heres to finding unhidden love....

~The Diva

Another one bites the dust...

OK....so is Raegan Gomez really old enough to be posted up boy-short clad on the cover of KING magazine?? If so, Im both disappointed AND old....I can remember not that long ago (or so it would seem) that cute little kid running around the set of the The Parent'hood...And ps, Im sure Robert Townsend is somewhere shaking his head..Suddenly Im browsing the web looking for something to rant about for a new post and I see her front and center on the cover in an almost chi-chi bearing men's dress shirt and some damn panties?? Really?? Ok call me an old head but seriously...whats w/ these random former child tv stars turned video chick/sex kitten?? Im so confused. I mean first Rudy Huxtable and now this?? I remember I almost passed out seeing her in a damn La Perla lingerie set back when she was in Chingy's video...There must be a conspiracy...Whats the deal, are there just no roles for talented YOUNG sistahs anymore or something? Apparently theyre being told, " Girl you need to be in this new T.I. video...its about to blow up..and it'll do WONDERS for your career..But first here...put on this hoochie get-up..because we wouldnt want anyone to get distracted by your talent while trying to get a gander at that booty" wtf......ok maybe im just sleepy and a little wound up but something just seems wrong with that whole situation...

I dont know if some sort of sistah coalition needs to be called to diminish this ever growing population of young divas turned hooch or what..but someone needs to do something. Get Spike and John Singleton on this...Call Oprah..cause Lord knows if anyone can make something happen she can. I mean I understand that sex sells...and that there wouldnt be a market for magazines like KING unless people wanted to buy it, but theres something to be said for women who are making a decision to post up half nude because they want to..and those who do it because they dont feel they have much choice. A woman's beauty shouldnt have to be put on display in a way that competely obscures who she is...turning her into nothing more than a Fembot-like creature with too much makeup and too little clothes....Im sure women like Raegen will swear they did it 'for themselves' but in about 20 yrs Im sure they'll feel the same as Vanessa Williams did about those 'questionable' pics she took when she was young and misguided...Sometimes the past doesnt always remain in the past...Perhaps thats something these young women should consider while they are taking it all off in the name of fame...Thats my 4 cents....Im going to bed...

Here's to not doing the most for once..

The Diva

What is REALLY going on??

I went out a few times over the weekend which for me has been a little uncommon lately. It seems when I go out I always find that Im disappointed for one reason or another. This weekend however it was hard for me not to notice the way men tend to gravitate toward women who have little to offer them but the obvious. I've been to a few places recently and it appeared as though the women w/ the worst weaves, shortest skirts, loudest mouths, etc. got the bulk of attention. Now this isnt THAT surprising since you would expect a nearly naked female drunk and loud in the middle of the dance floor to get alot of attention, but when I looked more closely they seemed to be the ONLY women getting any attention. Glancing around the room you could spot maybe 20 women all stylishly (yet completely) dressed, smiling and talking to one another w/o a brother in sight. I wondered to myself, "What kind of woman do you men really want?" I hear men complain about how these women out here arent about anything and how they cant find a good one yet i often find myself surrounded by attractive intelligent women who are single. I can already hear some of the brothas saying "hey, maybe its you!" but seriously, that cant always be the case, can it? I went to Mandarin on Saturday for the 1st time and I was really impressed with the whole scene. That is until i was hit with a barage of black men walking past whole groups of sisters, to get closer to our more drunk less attractive counterparts. I had black guys even avoid eye contact w/ me rather than simply say hello, but yet damn near knock a few people over to get a shot @ one of the many many many white women who were there (later i saw one of them taking his new lady home w/ him). But race isnt even the issue here. Its the fact that I know there ARE available quality black men out here...and there are obviously available quality black women as well, so I have to ask "why arent we getting together?" Have we gotten to the point where brothers are making efforts not to date black women? Are sisters buying into the whole 'no good black men' philosophy we hear about so much? I dont know the answer, but maybe you do....Send me a message/comment with your thoughts. Im interested in knowing what all of you think...

Wondering whats really going on...and hoping someone can tell me...
~The Diva

Are you with the WRONG somebody??

Are You With The Wrong Somebody?
Recently, Ive been getting bombarded with news and headlines about this story so much so that I decided to address it in my blog. For those of you who were unaware of this story it broke a few days ago and the details are pretty horrific. The accused was recently charged with the murder of Ms. Steward following an investigation of calls from neighbors who complained of a burning stench coming from his patio grill. Apparently Shepherd was unable to handle the news that Tynesha who recently ended their relationship, had moved on and was seeing someone else. Instead of handling this like a man, he took the most heinous and cowardly route imaginable. He murdered her (dismembered her body that is) and burned the remains using an outdoor grill. The complaints went on for two days until finally the police decided to pay Sheperd a visit. Initially Shepherd lied and apologized for the disruption, but later admitted to strangling Steward and dumping her body in a nearby landfill. Days later he confessed to the truth of the deed but by that time there was nothing left of Steward's body.
One neighbor recalled how Shepard would often invite people over for cook-outs using that same grill, and was appalled and disturbed by the news saying, "I thought he was a nice normal person. I guess you never know what your neighbors are doing." I talked with and older gentleman who is a sort of mentor to me about this situation and he imparted to me some very simple but very profound words: "Sometimes its better to have nobody than the wrong somebody". Those few words said so much.
As women we often get so caught up in the idea of being in a relationship and having someone that we lower our standards and choose out of desperation rather than out of what we want or deserve to have. Fortunate for most of us we don't meet with the same demise. This story is a glaring example of how choosing the wrong man can not only be damaging to the spirit but as in this case a fatal mistake. We have to be SO careful who we decide share our lives, bodies and hearts with ladies. You never quite know what people are capable of sometimes until its too late. It saddens me to think of how this young woman's life could have been had she not chosen this man. She may have seen something in his character early on and been dismissive thinking it was an isolated incident instead of a bright red "something is wrong here" flag. Or like many of us she could have been completely blind-sided. In either case it's a shame that it cost her young life. We have to start thinking with our minds instead of our emotions and make choices for our lives and not just for the moment. Even with careful consideration we can never predict what someone will or wont do, but inmost cases you can rely on your instincts. If your gut is telling you he is not "the one" then he probably isn't. If you're reading and you find yourself lingering on that thought for more than a few seconds, perhaps you need to ask yourself, are YOU with the wrong somebody?

here's to making hard but necessary choices......
~Diva

Sistah on Standby....

Im a Sistah on Stand-By
I was talking with one of my sorors recently who seems to think I have just totally given up on the brothas. I've even jokingly proclaimed myself the Supreme BBW (bitter black woman) which I think is hilarious, because its really not the case :o) To be clear I actually haven't given up the brothas. I've simply changed my views on dating and seeking the right person. I have like many of you reading this blog been hurt, betrayed or otherwise disappointed by someone who appeared to be one way and then actually revealed his/herself to be someone different all together. Instead of following my first mind and completely shutting down, I've opted instead to place myself on what I call my "stand-by" mode. Consider a PC that's been shut down. At first glance its difficult to determine whether its on or off, what programs are available, etc. If you were to walk into a computer lab and see one PC with its screen up and fully functional right beside one whose isn't, most people would view the blank screen as a sign of extended inactivity, and not even bother to deal with it, preferring to forego the tedious task of rebooting. On the flip side there's the PC on stand-by which appears to be shut down as well, but if you're patient enough to do so, all it takes is a jiggle of the mouse or a quick tap on the keyboard and voila! The PC you thought would be a chore to reboot functions with ease after all. It simply took for you take that extra step to go beyond your first assumption to realize what you were truly dealing with. I feel confident in saying this is the way a lot of brothers feel when they enter a room full of single sisters. Some appear to be 'shut down', pissed off or totally uninterested in what they have to say or offer before they even make a move. Their very demeanor says "Negro, don't even bother", so in most cases you don't. Men anticipate stress and unnecessary drama when they encounter a woman of this nature, and don't feel like troubleshooting the damage that may have been caused by the previous user, so needless to say they avoid them at all cost. On the other hand you have the "stand-by" sisters: they may appear to be shut down minus the surly presence of the aforementioned, but they're open to the few brothers with the confidence to stop and take a closer look. After all things aren't always what they seem. Now I admit I used to be Queen Sister Shut-Down (and still am depending on the day, but Im working really hard to be oteriwise). But I've discovered two very important lessons in recent months: 1. Life is too short to hold onto the past, 2. Some things (relationships included) just aren't meant to be. That being said, I'm open to love just not to nonsense, and am now better able to make the distinction between someone destined to be a great love, a great friend…and someone to simply chalk up to life experience. So for the record I haven't shut down…not even close. I'm just making myself available for the RIGHT brother to stop and tap on the keys. And hey if things don't turn out quite the way I liked, I can always CTRL+ALT+DELETE and start over fresh!

Here's to loving/living in standby people!