Steve Harvey Can Kick Rocks...And Here's Why

Ok...I dont know about you all but I am COMPLETELY over Steve Harvey and his attempt at yet another 'girlfriend here is what you need to do to get yo'self a good man how-to-guide'. Everytime I turn around theres some damn debate about its validity, discussion on how 'important it is', or radio/tv show centered around it. For the record Im still clueless as to how this negro even got nominated to speak for black men in general, or for that matter why the hell a former cheater, twice divorced (i think??) guy fresh out of a mid life crisis is considered an authority on fidelity and successful black relationships. Really?...REALLY?!

Im thinking that looking to this man to solve all your realationship woes with this random piece of lonely women propoganda is about as smart as looking to Michael Vick's canine expertise to judge the next Westminster Kennel Club dog show...Highly unwise, and lets face it a little dangerous. The day we start looking to books, dvds and predatory "last chance for love" dating websites for advice on how to find love is the day that we should just throw in the towel once and for all.

No book, regardless of the author is going to guarantee any level of happiness, fidelity or longevity in a relationship. So all you ladies busily highlighting passages in this man's book and committing them to memory for future reference are wasting your time. Doing so is an excercise in futility. You may as well toss some coins in a fountain and make a wish for true love. If I can find one sister who read this book and got a single ounce of information out of it that her mother, friends, or random older woman at church last sunday didnt already try to impart to hyer on countless occasions throughout her life, Ill stand corrected. Otherwise Im thinking the title of this book should basically be, "Ish You Already Know About Men And Pretend Not To".

We all know when we meet a brother in the first 30 days (less if he's really a piece of work) whether we need to invest our time or take a pass. Whether we listen to our gut or not is another story, but I think we've all had one of those 'this might be a problem' light bulbs go on early in the game and decided to proceed regardless. However on the other hand, seeing as how we often meet a man's 'representative' initially, its easy to find yourself caught up before knowing what youre really getting. Nevertheless in either case, you have to learn from the situation and promptly move on. And for those women who habitually seek out men who are bad for them, save your $20...its very simple STOP DOING THAT. Start to seek out men who arent controlling, abusive, lying jackasses..its that simple. Surely you dont need a book to advise you of that, and if you do, might I suggest some therapy to discover what the REAL issue is at hand...Seriously.

So in closing Id just like to say for the record that while Im sure Mr. Harvey's literary equivalent to a Zagat's guide to the Black Male Psyche is entertaining...you need to treat it as just such. It should in NO way be looked upon as the answer to all your dating prayers or a one way ticket to 'Loveville'. You can't read Cliff's Notes and then think youre suddenly well-versed in Shakespeare. (Have we learned nothing from the Cosby Show?) We all have to kiss a few frogs ladies...but eventually if youre open to love, mature, mentally stable, and reasonable....be patient..your prince will come....And you wont need a book to know how to recognize him.

Here's to being realistic about love...

The DIVA :o)

The bottom

....Checking Your Swag

Due to some recent inspiration Ive decided to repost this from last year for the newer readers...

Swagger: noun; see also savoir-faire; the quality of possessing swag; carrying oneself with an air of non-arrogant confidence; the epitome of sexy meets finesse. A man's ..."swagger"...thats something Ive been thinking about the past few days....Ive been considering just how much that quality can make or break a man...particularly a black man...in some cases it mean the difference b/w leaving with the party with the woman's number (and a fake to boot)...and leaving with the woman...

To me swagger isnt about a contrived act of 'posing'..you know strategically planning your look..your attitutude.. your walk...its about a natural coolness..an 'im the man' attitutude that few men can pull off flawlessly...Personally i consider myself somewhat a swag connoisseur...I actually seek opportunities to identify where it exists...and where it is desperately needed...i like to observe brothers in their natural swag-habitat...sort of like the crocodile hunter...but w/o the accent or chance of being bitten by a snake :o) I have found that parties are obviously the best environments to do this as its commonly the place where they feel compelled to bring their 'A game' swagger...This is when youre going to see them putting what they feel is their best foot forward ...their hottest ensemble...nicest shoes...trendiest of accessories..etc...which basically translates into unadulterated swagger...Its when they try TOO hard that this becomes a problem....you always get those few imposters..I believe "foo-gay-zee" is the word?? The posers who habitually ruin the vibe with their 'everybody look at me' antics....akin to what one might see at a Ringling Bros. circus...loud...tacky..obnoxiously popping bottles in the VIP for all to see...BAD LOOK.

I prefer the brother who is more in the background than the foreground...secure enough to let his personality and his attitude do the talking...instead of his mouth...the one content to just be seen w/o announcing himself, will get my vote every time...Original fashion sense (not stupid...just innovative) and a great smile will get you far as well..All this to say...Swagger= instant attraction for me...If I can get that along w/ some sense, good credit and a brain to match, Im officially gonna be off the market.

Here's to those who aspire to flyness....

NUVO...the latest man-law violation.....

Ok seriously yall..Am I the only one already fed up with the Nuvo craze?? I mean really everytime I go out Im bombarded with images of people revelling in its sticky, pink sweetness..and I cant figure out why. Is it because on EVERY SINGLE video they play on BET these days theres at least 17 contrived instances of cats posing with a bottle of it or over-pouring it into some random chick's glass? I think so...But more bothersome than the abundance of it in both video and real life party scenes is the fact that I see WAY too many dudes drinking it!

Now I understand that a large number of black folks tend to be followers particularly when it comes to hip hop/video culture but this is one thing that clearly should have set off the 'man law violation' alarm. Brothers: it is not a good look for you to be popping bottles of ANYTHING that is hot pink in color...let alone that oddly resembles a damn tube of lipstick/perfume bottle. Suspect as hell if you ask me...Im arguably one of the prissiest sistahs you'll meet and even I dont drink Nuvo...

What I wanna know is how some random Nuvo execs, got cats like Kanye West and T Pain to be basically doing commercials for this mess when 1. its not even that good...and 2. uhhh its pink?? what the hell? Im guessing the meeting went something like this:

Random NUVO Exec #1 (RNE1) and Random NUVO Exec #2 (NNE2) are in a glitzy office surrounded by maribou covered lamps and rhinestone studded desk accessories..

RNE1: So Francois...how DO you think we'll be able to saturate the African Americn urban market with this delightfully fruity goodness we call NUVO?

RNE2: Well Jacques you know as well as I do how much of an impact videos have on their consumption of damn near everything from chicken to sneakers...All we have to do is feature a few strategically placed bottles in anything that TPain's involved in and voila! He's the second most popular black figure next to Barrack Obama!..And dont worry about that whole "will people think Im gay?" thing when it comes to the men...Theres no way that a correlation can be drawn between indulging in our fruity pink concocotion so long as Tpain is seen drinking it...After all he 'goes hard' right?? *pretentious laughter*

RNE1: Splendid...lucky for me Ive got BET on speed dial..

Well Im not saying that it happened exactly this way but I imagine it wasnt far removed....But I digress...The point of this little sattire?? To let you dudes know that when women see you @ the club drinking NUVO...youre probably getting the side eyes...And for good reason..In the manly drink department, NUVO on the rocks rates about a .5 on a scale of 1-10...Opt for something a little stiffer...darker and more appropriate..a Vodka tonic wouldnt kill you...And for pete's sake if you see your boy about to make this fatal mistake PLEASE stop him...not just for you but for the betterment of the black community...The last thing we need is another brother perpetrating in the club...

This has been a Diva Service Announcement

That is all..

Here's to not letting BET dictate what you order at the bar...CHEERS