Girl meets boy..boy seems perfect...boys starts showing his flaws...boy is good to girl and loves her dearly but doesnt clean up after himself or act as girl would like him to at times...Enter new boy. He's less of a pig and is always on his best behavior. Girl leaves said boy for new boy, assusming she's upgrading only to find out that new boy is clean but irresponsible...well behaved but not very bright...Girl realizes she should have never left boy in the first place.
What you've just witness my friends is a textbook example of the "80/20" rule in action. You see, girl already had 80% of what she needed to be happy but gave it up for the 20% she thought boy was lacking. In doing so, she put herself at a disadvantage, trading in the lion's share of her happiness for the table scraps. This is a mistake commonly made by people who are either unwilling or unable to embrace what they have right in front of them with appreciation.
I first encountered this concept in watching the Tyler Perry film "Why Did I Get Married?". In the film it was Mike, Sheila's husband who betrayed his loving wife and left her for the fleeting pleasure his mistress brought to the table. Here was a man who had a loving, faithful wife willing to do any and everything to keep him happy, and make their marriage work but all he could see was a 'fat girl'. Instead of seeing her for the woman he once pledged his love to, he saw a sexier, slimer option in her homegirl Trina. He soon discovered that Trina (like most women of the "20" variety) had very little to offer beyond the proverbial "big butt and a smile". And of course when it was all said and done it was too late to right his wrong.
People so often miss the point of love and relationships. The point is never to get the hottest chick ever, or the guy with the most possible money, but to find that someone who possesses the perfect blend of characteristics that will lead to longevity and hopefully fidelity. If you nurture and care for your own grass, it deosnt matter how green the other side is. Hence there's no need to wonder what could be, or might be with someone else. Moreover I have news for you, when you're lucky to find someone who truly loves you, theres no such thing as 'trading up' anyway.
Yeah.....that 20 looks pretty good when you think you're missing out on something, but believe me, its hardly worth sacrificing 80 to get it.
Here's to making your next move your best move.
Diva :o)
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1 comment:
I'm pretty sure I agree with you, I guess I just looked at it slightly different. I always called it the 'Friday' syndrome... named after the movie. Chris Tucker's character, 'Smokie', complained that Ice Cube's character 'Craig' and his family never had food items that matched (i.e. Kool-Aid no sugar, peanut butter no jelly, ham no burger). I've found it to be the same with relationships... that if you find someone they never make a whole (or perfect) person because you can never find two complimentary attributes that match. They are either real good looking, but have an ugly personality (or vice versa), really neat and clean at home and messy emotionally and mentally. It seems the 80/20 rule you speak of is similar!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIg5nUfsYDE
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