"You Can't Handle The Truth" (...Or Can You??)

Well in another interesting development..my blog has in fact sparked an entirely new blog. Some of you may remember the list that sparked my most recent post "25 Things Ill need to know...." (if not read the original list here http://divaroyale.blogspot.com/2008/10/20-things-my-husband-will-know.html Well on this list one of the things my husband needed to know was that it was NEVER ok to lie to me...EVER.

That in and of itself was the topic of another conversation with Mr. X where he referenced a conversation from the movie Baby Boy where Jody comments: "...I lie to you because I care about your feelings"

Now I can just about guess what most sistahs said to themselves after hearing that one...Im sure it was something along the lines of a high pitched "negro PUH-leese!" While on the other hand Im sure most brothers responded with a resounding, "EXACTLY!". But ladies, before you start rolling your necks and you brothers start dapping eachother up. ..First, consider something that I had to ponder last night: Sometimes the truth hurts and we're really not ready to hear it.

Now Im not saying that Im taking back what I said about lying...I still think its wrong. However Im also the kind of woman who doesnt ask questions I dont want to know the answers to. I'm not gonna start interrogating you about what the sex with your ex was like, whether I do in fact look fat in these, or what I do that annoys you..unless Im prepared to hear the truth...even if its ugly..

But the real question is: what does 'knowing the truth' really afford us in any given situation? Will you really gain anything other than misery and/or anger, or will the truth give you the basis you need to make a better decision now that you have all of the information?

For example ladies, would you really want to know if your man cheated on you before you were married, just once, if he never saw the woman again? Or brothers, can your ego really handle knowing that your woman's ex used to put it DOWN in the bedroom and you dont even compare to him..even though she's now your wife??

I think that Jody should have subscribed to the Pietro Aretino (15th Cent. Italian author) way of thinking when it comes to this subject, which simply says:

“I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.”

Maybe theres something to this whole truth and feelings thing...But perhaps its more so about not divulging hurtful information ie: an omission vs telling a lie. If those are my choices...I think Ill stick with not knowing in some instances. Its just...less complicated I think.

~Diva