Sistah on Standby....

Im a Sistah on Stand-By
I was talking with one of my sorors recently who seems to think I have just totally given up on the brothas. I've even jokingly proclaimed myself the Supreme BBW (bitter black woman) which I think is hilarious, because its really not the case :o) To be clear I actually haven't given up the brothas. I've simply changed my views on dating and seeking the right person. I have like many of you reading this blog been hurt, betrayed or otherwise disappointed by someone who appeared to be one way and then actually revealed his/herself to be someone different all together. Instead of following my first mind and completely shutting down, I've opted instead to place myself on what I call my "stand-by" mode. Consider a PC that's been shut down. At first glance its difficult to determine whether its on or off, what programs are available, etc. If you were to walk into a computer lab and see one PC with its screen up and fully functional right beside one whose isn't, most people would view the blank screen as a sign of extended inactivity, and not even bother to deal with it, preferring to forego the tedious task of rebooting. On the flip side there's the PC on stand-by which appears to be shut down as well, but if you're patient enough to do so, all it takes is a jiggle of the mouse or a quick tap on the keyboard and voila! The PC you thought would be a chore to reboot functions with ease after all. It simply took for you take that extra step to go beyond your first assumption to realize what you were truly dealing with. I feel confident in saying this is the way a lot of brothers feel when they enter a room full of single sisters. Some appear to be 'shut down', pissed off or totally uninterested in what they have to say or offer before they even make a move. Their very demeanor says "Negro, don't even bother", so in most cases you don't. Men anticipate stress and unnecessary drama when they encounter a woman of this nature, and don't feel like troubleshooting the damage that may have been caused by the previous user, so needless to say they avoid them at all cost. On the other hand you have the "stand-by" sisters: they may appear to be shut down minus the surly presence of the aforementioned, but they're open to the few brothers with the confidence to stop and take a closer look. After all things aren't always what they seem. Now I admit I used to be Queen Sister Shut-Down (and still am depending on the day, but Im working really hard to be oteriwise). But I've discovered two very important lessons in recent months: 1. Life is too short to hold onto the past, 2. Some things (relationships included) just aren't meant to be. That being said, I'm open to love just not to nonsense, and am now better able to make the distinction between someone destined to be a great love, a great friend…and someone to simply chalk up to life experience. So for the record I haven't shut down…not even close. I'm just making myself available for the RIGHT brother to stop and tap on the keys. And hey if things don't turn out quite the way I liked, I can always CTRL+ALT+DELETE and start over fresh!

Here's to loving/living in standby people!