I went to a local chinese food place to pick up some food on Saturday afternoon and witnessed something that I felt compelled to write about....I placed my order and took a seat, waiting along with an older lady about 65, a woman maybe 45 with her son and say, four young men who all appeared to be in their late teens...We all sat waiting as our orders were called while the young men talked loudly amongst eachother, totally oblivious to their rudeness. I listened against my will, as the topics ranged from one's plans to go pick up his kids (and he looked about 17) , how his whole family was at some boy's funeral who had been shot in the head a few days prior, that he knew some people who planned to retaliate, and how they were going to be in the 'studio' that night. All I could do was shake my head.
Of course they were more than just loud, obnoxious, and disrespectful. They were cursing like nobody's business, pants sagging with their underwear showing, and barking demands for napkins and red pepper to the lady behind the counter. All the while talking about this boy's murder like one would discuss something as trivial as the weather. All I kept wondering was who raised these young men to behave this way?? I know one thing, "Big Mama" sure as hell didnt. Im in my early 30's, but I still came up during the era where grown folks actually RAISED kids...You just couldnt go around cursing and acting like some undisciplined heathen without swift and often painful correction. When I was a teenager, or even today for that matter, there is no way in HELL I would have even considered cursing around one of my elders. And if I had, I would have most certainly been sorry for it later.
Couple that with the sense of indifference and callous nature of these young mens' demeanor and you have a receipe for why the black community is no longer a community. Gone are the days of the 'village to raise a child' mentality, and "big mama" . Hell these days she's too worried she gonna get robbed by one of these little houligans to even open her mouth when she sees the kinds of things that go on today. Its a shame too because the "big mama's" of the old school are part of the reason why some of these men turned out as well as they did. Big mamas were the mothers AND fathers they needed when some young boys had neither. They dished out the love, structure, and swats to the behind necessary to mold them into responsible adults. These days we have too many young women who dont know the first thing about parenting, struggling through it on their own, without a much needed support system. The fact that the fathers arent around as much anymore doesnt exactly help matters either.
I pray that what I saw on Saturday is not indicative of whats going on with our young men in our community as a whole. If it is...people, we have GOT to do better. Somebody call Big Mama...we need her!
~diva :o\
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1 comment:
That is sad to see or hear, however I can understand because growing up in the inner city as a young male I’ve experience some of the same pain. I’m not quite thirty yet but I’m right there.
What the young men are asking for is love. I was fortunate (not that it should be looked at as a luxury but a responsibility) enough to have my Pops around. My pops was in the military so he was in and out of the country quite frequently. I remember being 17 and getting into it with my mother often. I had no idea that my Pops was coming home this night from the army. He woke me up in my room that night with his Nine Millimeter (handgun) and said, “Son with my job I am trained to kill, and Boah it was me and yo Mama before it was me and you.” He put his clip back into his gun and walked out and yes he was serious. To show that type of love for another indivdual was enough for me.
Once again we are a product of our environment and if all we are exposed to his hurt in pain that is all that we know. We have to teach our community to be one and it starts with ourselves. One of our problems now days is that we find creative ways to hurt one another instead of coming together and lifting each other up. We must first learn how to take care of our own community instead of going out to the county malls where we’re not wanted anyway and spending money there and have our tax dollars improve their school systems, fill their pot holes, and fund more police to keep their streets safe. We need to keep that right where we are from (this is another topic in itself).
We need not to feel sorry for the young fellas but to encourage, teach, and expose them to something new. They need to see that man come through the door and kiss his lady on the cheek, tell her to stop what she is doing have a seat and finish what she was working on. He needs to see that man hold his lady hand and he needs to see them making love and not I’m not talking about sex, but being friends. He also needs to see that lady taking care of that man so he dreams of someone with the qualities of his mother. But Ladies you have to make it easy for us to love you (if you need a reminder refer to the LIST of 25 Things that She will do) so we can teach these young fellas how to be men and show them by example where their priorities should be.
Tha Professor
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