NUVO...the latest man-law violation.....

Ok seriously yall..Am I the only one already fed up with the Nuvo craze?? I mean really everytime I go out Im bombarded with images of people revelling in its sticky, pink sweetness..and I cant figure out why. Is it because on EVERY SINGLE video they play on BET these days theres at least 17 contrived instances of cats posing with a bottle of it or over-pouring it into some random chick's glass? I think so...But more bothersome than the abundance of it in both video and real life party scenes is the fact that I see WAY too many dudes drinking it!

Now I understand that a large number of black folks tend to be followers particularly when it comes to hip hop/video culture but this is one thing that clearly should have set off the 'man law violation' alarm. Brothers: it is not a good look for you to be popping bottles of ANYTHING that is hot pink in color...let alone that oddly resembles a damn tube of lipstick/perfume bottle. Suspect as hell if you ask me...Im arguably one of the prissiest sistahs you'll meet and even I dont drink Nuvo...

What I wanna know is how some random Nuvo execs, got cats like Kanye West and T Pain to be basically doing commercials for this mess when 1. its not even that good...and 2. uhhh its pink?? what the hell? Im guessing the meeting went something like this:

Random NUVO Exec #1 (RNE1) and Random NUVO Exec #2 (NNE2) are in a glitzy office surrounded by maribou covered lamps and rhinestone studded desk accessories..

RNE1: So Francois...how DO you think we'll be able to saturate the African Americn urban market with this delightfully fruity goodness we call NUVO?

RNE2: Well Jacques you know as well as I do how much of an impact videos have on their consumption of damn near everything from chicken to sneakers...All we have to do is feature a few strategically placed bottles in anything that TPain's involved in and voila! He's the second most popular black figure next to Barrack Obama!..And dont worry about that whole "will people think Im gay?" thing when it comes to the men...Theres no way that a correlation can be drawn between indulging in our fruity pink concocotion so long as Tpain is seen drinking it...After all he 'goes hard' right?? *pretentious laughter*

RNE1: Splendid...lucky for me Ive got BET on speed dial..

Well Im not saying that it happened exactly this way but I imagine it wasnt far removed....But I digress...The point of this little sattire?? To let you dudes know that when women see you @ the club drinking NUVO...youre probably getting the side eyes...And for good reason..In the manly drink department, NUVO on the rocks rates about a .5 on a scale of 1-10...Opt for something a little stiffer...darker and more appropriate..a Vodka tonic wouldnt kill you...And for pete's sake if you see your boy about to make this fatal mistake PLEASE stop him...not just for you but for the betterment of the black community...The last thing we need is another brother perpetrating in the club...

This has been a Diva Service Announcement

That is all..

Here's to not letting BET dictate what you order at the bar...CHEERS